Banned
by Yellowbeans
Summary: Warninging: absolute crack. This isn't really a story, but laws made because of Naruto's generation. It's not really cannon, and they're all eighteen or nineteen. Purely for laughs. What's not to love about a cross dressing Lee or Akamaru's sex toy?
1. Chapter 1

1. Naruto, stop asking Neji to use the Byakugan to look in the girls' hot springs, one Jiraya is enough.

2. Neji, stop agreeing to do so.

3. Okay, seriously, Neji, cut it out.

4. Lee, stop listening to Naruto and Kiba when they say they can't see your flames of youth well enough. Setting yourself on fire does not help them.

5. Naruto, you can't force someone into the mental hospital against his or her will.

6. We don't care if it's Sasuke or not, it's still illegal, stop doing it.

7. Stop showing Sasuke pictures of naked men to see weather he's gay or not, that's his business, not yours.

8. No, Naruto, it's not funny to call the Hokage your bitch.

9. Ino, stop sticking your tongue down Shikamaru's throat when he's asleep, it's rather disturbing.

10. Kiba, do not toss Akamaru his "sex toy" when you're in the middle of the town, nobody wants to see that.

11. Shino, we'd rather not know about the sex lives of your bugs.

12. Kiba, Naruto, stop telling Lee that he can better intimidate a foe if he dresses like Ino.

13. Naruto, Kiba, do not call out "sixty-four gropes!" when Neji is using his Byakugan.

14. Same goes for you, Neji.

15. Muttering "sneakitty-sneakitty-sneak," under your breath does NOT enhance your stealth ability.

16. Kakashi, stop showing your students the illustrations in the Icha-Icha books. It creates hell-bent, sex-obsessed demon spawn.

17. Kakashi, don't tell Gui that "horn-balls" is an endearing term, he won't stop calling his students his "youthful little horn-balls", and we think it's rubbing off on Lee. This is not a good thing.

18. Sasuke, we know it's you who keeps shooting sparks at the backside of just about all of the other seventeen year-old girls in the village. Stop being a closet pervert.

19. That doesn't mean we want you to be obvious about it. How many Jirayas can there be in one generation?

20. Naruto is officially banned from any and all sorts of jam, jelly or marmalade. That was just disgusting . . .

21. This generation of ninja is hereby declared "The Disaster Generation"

22. You spell generation with a "g", Naruto, and no matter what you think, you do not "pwn" us.

23. And by the way, that graffiti was illegal.

24. Lee, stop listening to Kiba.

25. Kiba, no matter how "wild" you are, you may not flirt with an ANBU because your "animal instincts" are kicking in. They will hurt you. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to all who read this! I really wasn't expecting such a response, but I'm extremely grateful! Now, I have been asked to elaborate on a few of the rules, and I think it would be fun and enjoyable, but I want to know which ones you want me to write about. Or, which ones you want up the soonest, as I obviously can't finish fifty one-shotish things in a day, so I want to know which you'd like me to get up the soonest. Please tell me, and I'll be sure to get them up ASAP, but for now, enjoy part two of the mad, horny, teenager-ness!

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26. No, girls, push-up bras are NOT suitable combat attire, we don't care if it worked as a distraction technique.

27. Hinata, put down the porn book.

28. You know what Naruto? No, we're not getting you down next time.

29. We are not permitting an annual Oroike no Jutsu beach volleyball tournament for the boys.

30. Same goes for the girls.

31. Who ever sold the entire Disaster Generation a three hundred-disk "screemo" collection, two years worth of goth makeup, and amplifiers that play at ridiculous decibel levels, we're after you.

32. Same for the person who sold them chimpanzees.

33. Naruto, Kiba, it is not physically possible for Shikamaru to PMS, so stop using it as an excuse to why he's a jerk to you. Believe us, there are ulterior motives.

34. And no, you can't use "pregnant" as an excuse to avoid a mission.

35. Even if you start eating chocolate-covered fried onions with oregano in top.

36. Stop referring to Council meetings as "orgyfests."

37. Stop referring to your own gatherings as "orgyfests."

38. Sasuke, stop asking Kiba and Naruto if they got their rabies shots Naruto doesn't need any and Kiba's had his.

39. Give back the Hokage's sports bra! She needs it for combat.

40. Tenten, stop asking men the size of their "kunai," it's not funny.

41. Naruto, Sasuke lied to you, there are not giant bowls of ramen at the end every rainbow, so stop running off to look for them whenever it rains.

42. Sakura the answer to Naruto-or-Sasuke is NOT polyandry. That's not even legal here.

43. Stop spreading rumors that we are all just part of an anime and/or manga.

44. And we don't care how, but since it doesn't exist, you can't break the fourth wall.

45. No, Naruto, "Llama Day" is not a holiday, nor a valid excuse to escape a D-rank mission

46. No matter how fat "Gama-chan" is, he cannot buy you Sunagakure. It's not even for sale.

47. All of you, do not put on a fake breakups/lovers' quarrels in the middle of the busiest street in Konoha, especially when said fight includes shouting the words, or words similar to: "Fine then! No more sex!" There are children in these streets, people.

48. You can't fly, Lee, even if you jump from the monument. _Especially_ if you jump from the monument.

49. Ino, your proposal for the new kunoichi dress code has been rejected. How do you plan on getting around in stilettos and nine-inch skirts?

50. Don't answer that.


End file.
